Tunde and Amaka had been dating for three years. The family liked her and his mother had already started calling her "my daughter." They had even set a date for introduction, then her mentor asked if they knew their genotype. They found out they were both AS. None of them had previously checked or asked about it. And now, the same love story that started with butterflies had turned into the most painful conversation of their lives.
Why People Avoid the Conversation
Many Nigerians know genotype matters, but they avoid the conversation because:
They are afraid of the answer.
They do not want to end their sweet love.
They assume everything will be fine because "God is in it."
They have already introduced each other to their parents.
But the truth is, avoiding the conversation does not protect your relationship. It instead protects your fear, and this fear does not raise children.
When Should You Have the Talk?
It is very important that this discussion is had very early with your partner. Before your sweet love turns into a proposal and the proposal becomes a wedding, ensure you have the conversation on time so you can make a calm and clear decision
What If You Are Both AS?
This is the hard part for many people. If both partners are AS, there is a 25% chance with every pregnancy that the child will be born with Sickle Cell Disease. Some couples still choose to proceed and make clear decisions such as using assisted reproductive options like preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), adopting a child, etc. But if these options are not fine by either of the partners, it is best to separate.
Love Is Not Enough
As much as love is important, it is still not enough to protect a child from a pain crisis at 2am or settle piling hospital bills. Knowing your genotype is an act of love, for the person you are choosing and for the children you hope to raise.
Have the conversation with your partner today. It might be the most loving thing you ever do.
#GenotypeMatters #KnowYourStatus #LoveAndSickleCell #SickleCellAlert #MarriageAndGenotype